I often wonder what it would have been like for my dad who suffered from cancer and had a heart attack if he could have just gone home for his last few days of life. In the hospital, he had tubes in his throat and he was very uncomfortable. The doctors said there was nothing more they could do. They couldn’t perform any more surgery because he was too weak. He slept a lot and then died in the hospital. I had to cry and hold him in front of nurses that I didn’t know well and although they tried to be polite, I knew they eventually needed the room and that he would be moved so that a doctor could officially declare him dead.
The experience at the end of his life haunts me all the time. I often wonder if he could have died at home with the privacy of his loved ones and we could have cried and screamed until we were ready to have his body removed. I didn’t want bright lights and I didn’t want to grieve in front of other people I didn’t know. Also, I didn’t want to have to walk through the hospital with bright lights and an intercom going off while I wanted to scream as loud as I could and cry until I had to be dragged away.
Jackie Kennedy was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma and when the doctors told her there was nothing more they could do, she wanted to go home and die there. Her family and friends visited her and she died with dignity and privacy. I don’t know about my dad’s situation but I know that once you have been given only a few days to live it seems better to die at your own home among loved ones.
I watched the documentary, “My Brother Jordan.” I wish that he had gone home to die peacefully. He hated hospitals so much. He went to the hospital in the end and he died there. It was so sad.”
Sometimes people don’t have a choice when they’re rushed to the hospital and then only have a few hours before they die. But if there is time and you can refuse further treatment (especially if there is no hope of it working) then I totally agree with you. It seems better to die at home especially if you have medication to control any pain.